Reducing Stress by Reducing iPad Games.

Each night, after Mom goes to bed between 9:00 and 10:00, I settle in for some alone time.  I check my blog, write a post or two, watch some youtube, cuddle with the dog, and maybe watch some news.

Tonight I did something different.  I played a new game I downloaded to my iPad.  The game was strangely addicting, even though it was frustrating.  It was so slow, but had the promise of becoming exciting as I played.  But it never did become exciting.  It continued to go slowly as it frustrated me with just kept out of reach promises.

It didn't relax me and set me into that quite peaceful mode I enter when I spend my alone time.

Why did I play it?  Well as I said, it always kept those good powers, just out of reach.  Once I attained a level needed for a power I realized the that power wasn't good at all, and I craved for the next power, only to find that power wasn't that good either.

I have to start being more in tuned with my feelings.  When I'm feeling frustration (or any other negative emotion), I need to ask myself why.  Why am I feeling so frustrated?  What is making me frustrated?  Is this a needed frustration?

The answers to those questions tonight, are:

1. I'm feeling frustrated because the game isn't what it promises to be. 
2. The game is designed to make me continually want more than I have.
3. This not a needed frustration.  I don't need to finish this game.  Getting to the top level will not help me or anybody else in any way.  If it does make me happy, it will be a fleeting happiness.

And with those questions, I need to act on them.  I need to realize the game is only adding stress to an already stressful live and quit playing.

It's been 15 minutes since I turned the game off, and I'm still stressed.  Ideas like:

• I could beat this game
• I quit too early
• It will be fun once I beat the next level
• I need to continue

But I don't need to continue.  All of those statements are lies.

Several months ago, I realized that I am not taking care of my emotional health, and I need to start.  I've been reducing the stress that doesn't matter in my live.  Perfect strangers that are in my social media, but are rude to me.  They get blocked.

I've been doing things that make me happy.  Like starting this blog.

And this game, I know realize has got to be limited.  It's a good game for playing when my mother and I are talking or listening to a book on CD.  When I'm not thinking about it and trying to reach a level, but listening to somebody else talk, it's not stressful at all.

It is stressful when it's just me and the game.

And that is when - the game won't get played.

Because I'm more important than some dumb game, that wants more and more of me as the levels progress.